I just want to Die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…

Ok so it seems you have some issues going on....first thing first you need to get some professional help ....secondly you need to look at your life in a different direction, obviously you are not taking your parents steps are you are working and you care for your grandparents a great deal..you should take that postive and work on that....listen there are worst things out there and you should be happy or at least content with what you have accomplished and make sure you when you have a family you will not let your children feel the way your parents let you feel.....My parents did not back me up in very much in my life and now that I am a parent it is my life goal not to hurt my children the way my parents hurt me.....hang on and think things through and give your life a chance